Am I A "No" Mom?

Being a 5 year old boy, EJ is already starting to hone his bargaining and persuading skills. He is quite clear about what he wants, and is very good at expressing it (luckily he's not the type to always ask for toys, this is more on food and permission to do things).

And this is also when I started to realize that I am becoming a "no" mom.

I don't even know if there is such a term, but it's pretty self explanatory -- my default setting is "no", unless proven beneficial otherwise. My default dialogue is "don't do that", unless there is perfectly good reason to not to behave as expected. And I just realized these when EJ started telling me, "mommy why you don't let me do/eat <insert subject> all the time?"

I'm sorry baby. But first and foremost in my mind, I want what is best for you even if that's not what happens all the time. I do feel that I am too uptight sometimes, and I also have to remind myself that you are still a kid and will act as kids do -- maybe because sometimes you act like a grown up that I also forget you're not one.

It is hard for me to realize that my kid thinks I say "no" all the time. I feel like such a hindrance to his happiness (I wouldn't wanna do that THIS EARLY) and such a bad-mommy-cop on repeat. Then he starts churning our reasons that are ridiculously sensible that it renders me defenseless, plus he is perfecting the art of the puss-in-boots eyes -- which just comes naturally, me thinks. Add to that my stress and exhaustion from work, and you have an exasperated mother ready to throw in the towel just to stop the arguments.(read: Fine, I'll give you what you want because I'm too tired to argue.)

So yeah, I just say "Fine." And let him do/get what he wants. And more often than not, I suffer the consequences, like having to mop the floor after I let him play with water "a little bit" (duh, of course he's not gonna play just "a little bit".) I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just saying I also get tired of always arguing with a smart 5 year old. Am I a bad mom?

So now comes the time when, as a mother, you have to think of how to balance being a disciplinarian and being a mommy while keeping your sanity intact. And no two answers are the same, because most of the time, you just have to wing it. I'm trying but not always succeeding, it's always either too much discipline or too much heart. Sigh.

I'm sorry for being an uptight mommy, EJ.